Death is meaningless

You know, I fucking hate dying.

There’s pain, there’s blood, usually there’s men screaming at you.

It’s not very different from being on my period to be honest.

Luckily it’s over and done with much quicker.

So yeah, I fucking died, again.

But let’s take a step back. I’ll talk about my death later.

For now I should start with my fight against Faceless.

I’ll just ignore the other fights that happened in this tournament because I can’t be bothered to give a shit to be honest. I’m sure someone posted about them though.

I will mention though that Miss Banana won her fight.

Which means she’s not dead and that might still become a problem in the future.

On his blog Faceless mentioned lamenting he no longer had the birds. Not sure why though. I’ve shown myself capable of handling the pests quite easily in the past. At best they’d be an annoyance for two seconds.

So the fights starts. I’ll be honest straight up combat isn’t my forte. So I figured my best shot was to overwhelm him with attacks until I saw an opening. Then stop his heart and finish him off.

It worked, kinda..

I rushed straight at him. There was a sudden dull feeling in my shoulder. He says he struck me in the shoulder with his machete. That’s probably what that was. I wasn’t really paying attention.

Did I mention I can hardly feel anything since the first time I died?

Yeah, it sucks.

I kept trying to stab him with my knife. He kept trying to slice me up with his machete.

He obviously was afraid of my “touch of death” or whatever you wanna call it.

So I used that to corner him at the edge of the arena.

He struck, I deflected. I saw an opening, boom.

He fell to his knees. I tried to stab him in the neck and finish him.

Didn’t work. He threw himself backwards so I only managed cut his mask off.

I insulted his face. Thinking he wasn’t not getting up any time soon anyway.

I was wrong. (Not about the face.)

I tried to stab him again but he suddenly lunged at me.

Then my knife went flying out of my hand.

Next thing I know his sweaty hand was slamming my face against the floor.

He mentioned my death wish. Said he’ll help me get my wish.

An empty promise. If dying was so easy I would’ve done it myself already.

In fact I’ve tried, twice.

Then his machete went through my heart. I did feel that one.
A few stabs later everything went dark.

Yesterday morning I woke up out in the normal world again. Now my fucking clothes are ruined and I’ve got unnecessary holes in my body. At least I’m out of the tournament now. That fucking orange sky was starting to hurt my eyes.

I guess it’s about time I explained how I’m not dead. For those of you that didn’t read Faceless’ last post, my real name was Fien. Some of you might remember me from my previous blog. I was being stalked by the Black dog and the Merry man.

Still fucking stupid names.

As you might know, at the end of that blog I killed myself. It was the only way I could deny the Merry man the pleasure of getting its hands on me. I’ll spare you the details, if you want to know more just read my previous blog “Puppies & Joy”. Basically I jumped off a bridge into the river below and drowned.

It was really fucking painful and I realized it was a pretty dumb move right about when I hit the water. I wouldn’t recommend the experience to anyone.

I felt my life slipping away and was pretty happy about everything finally ending. Of course it didn’t end there. That would have been too easy. I escaped two Fears only to land right in a hands of a third. At least I think it’s a Fear, not sure what else it could be.

I was still under water when my eyes opened up again. The water was dirty so I couldn’t see much of anything. I just felt myself floating and everything was wet so I assume I was in the water.

Suddenly there’s a green glow all around me. I look up and see two gigantic green eyes staring down at me. No white, just different shades of green. Out of nowhere two gigantic hands envelop me and I hear a somewhat feminine voice.

She whispers something about me having thrown away my life. So now it belongs to her and she “will not grant me the release of death” until I serve my purpose. So basically I have to do whatever she says and maybe one day I’ll be allowed to die. Great deal.

So obviously the first thing I do when I wake up is kill myself again.

Same result.

Couple of months of that bullshit later and we’re here. I don’t know who she is. I only see her when I die. The only thing I’ve noticed that she seems to get louder every time I die, I think? Which can’t be a good thing.

So that’s it. I’m now a fucking servant to a Fear I don’t even know the name of. It was her who ordered me to fight in the tournament. I’ve got a different mission now though. Which means I’m leaving this blog. Wasn’t mine to begin with.

So goodbye I guess. Unless you’re Faceless, in which case you’ll see me again the next time I try to kill you. Same goes for anyone from KRAKEN I’m coming after your asses too.

-  Fien  Hella out.